Hello my love,
Your Dad and I are in the process of getting certified to one day take you home. It is such a process full of paperwork and lots and lots of waiting, but we know you are abundantly worth it.
We want you to know I pray for you everyday. I pray you are being kept safe, being shown love and affection and that wherever you are; in a troubled situation, safe in a foster home or in a perfectly normal situation now you know you are loved and wanted. I pray for your family. For your birth parents and all your relatives. I pray they know how special you are and how we are out there and can't wait to meet you.
We have dreamed about you, time and time again. We see you playing, calling me mama and playing with your Daddy. I feel so blessed and lucky to have those dreams because I feel like I get to spend time with you, but I wake up missing you so terribly, even though we haven't met yet.
I wonder if when we meet we'll feel like we've known each other all our lives, or if I will feel like a stranger to you. I wonder if you'll call me Mama, Mommy or just Danielle. I wonder how old you are and what your hopes and dreams are. Whatever it may be, please know I'll love you just the same either way.
Today, I met my first stranger who asked about you. She asked if your Dad and I were able to have our "own children". I thought for a second before replying that you would be our own child; that we didn't need biology to love you just the same. I hope you know that too.
Last night, I had the first nightmare I could remember in my life. In my nightmare, someone was coming towards my room. I couldn't speak. I was terrified. Your Dad woke me up, held me and told me it was all going to be okay and that it was just a dream. After staying awake for a few minutes, waiting to get that nightmare out of my mind, I wondered if that's how you feel too? Laying in bed with footsteps that you don't know to whom they belong. Being terrified because you don't know if you can trust them. I prayed you don't feel that way; before, now or ever. I pray you are being kept safe and comforted from the nightmares before we can be there. I pray you always feel safe and you don't know fear, nightmares or terror. I prayed because I was thankful for that nightmare. I was thankful I would know the fear you may have know so I can comfort you. I prayed because I was thankful your Dad was there to comfort me just as I know he will you. I hope you know that too.
Most of all, I hope you know just how much I'll always love you,
Xo,
Mama
